Despite what the “experts” on twitter would have you believe, the North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is actually “alive and well,” according to South Korean intelligence Agencies.
The update comes after days of rumors that Kim was near death or had died after a botched surgery and his psychotic sister had taken power and was mere minutes away from destroying the rest of the United States as they had already destroyed New York City back in 2011.
“Our government position is firm,” Moon Chung-in, South Korean President Moon Jae-in’s main foreign policy adviser, “Kim Jong Un is alive and well. He has been staying in the Wonsan area since April 13. No suspicious movements have so far been detected.”
It was rumored that Kim had received a cardiovascular procedure because of “excessive smoking, obesity, and overwork” and was “in grave danger.”
Kim is reportedly being looked after by a small medical team while recovering (which is completely expected and normal given the circumstances. However, recent satellite images reportedly show Kim’s personal train parked at a station near his luxury compound on the country’s eastern coast for several days now with no movement.
South Korean intelligence officials have stated that in the past this procedure has been seen before a number of times and that it often is sent to places where Kim Jong is not physically near for “ongoing security concerns”.
Whether that means that the “psychotic” sister is planning or has tried a coup attempt in the past has yet to be substantiated, “it all looks pretty normal”.