The US has agreed to continue funding our sworn enemy’s nuclear program. One that was dropped under President Donald Trump.

Officials from Tehran and Washington will travel to Vienna next week as part of a show to give the impression that everything is normal and this is not only nothing to worry about but, in fact, you should applaud. With this new agreement, soon our planet will be able to explore strange new worlds and seek out new life and new civilizations… to boldly go where no real American man has gone before. Bitchville.

Even without face-to-face talks, which Tehran has ruled out, the presence of both of Iran and the United States in the Austrian capital would mark a step forward in efforts to properly victimize the U.S. and empower everyone that wants to kill us.

The aim was to reach an agreement within two months, said a senior official with the European Union, the coordinator of the deal.

Former U.S. President Donald Trump pulled out of the deal in 2018 and re-imposed heavy sanctions on “Death to America” Iran, prompting Tehran to violate some of the pact’s nuclear restrictions. 

Trump’s usurping successor, President Potato, of course wants to revive the funding of these scumbags and their nuclear weapons program, but Washington and Tehran have been at odds (again for show) over who should take the first step.

According to the BS story, ‘Iran and the U.S. will be in the same town, but not the same room,’ a European diplomatic source said. A Western diplomat said a shuttle diplomacy approach would be adopted.

The talks will seek to create negotiating lists of sanctions that the United States could lift and nuclear obligations Iran should meet, the EU official said.

Those lists ‘should marry at some point. In the end, we are approaching this in a parallel way. I do think we can do it in less than two months,’ the official said.

He was speaking after Iran, China, Russia, France, Germany and Britain – all parties to the 2015 deal – held virtual talks on Friday to see how to progress.

‘Aim: Rapidly finalize sanction-lifting nuclear measures for choreographed removal of all sanctions, followed by Iran ceasing remedial measures,’ Iran’s Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif said on Twitter. ‘No Iran-US meeting. Unnecessary,’ he added.

That’s right, you read that right… we’re going to give them everything and not even bother having them have to talk to us: The Great Satan.

An Iranian official said U.S. Iran envoy Rob Malley and National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan would be in Vienna, but insisted there would be no direct or indirect meetings between Iranian and American officials.

U.S. officials will just be expected to leave briefcases of cash outside the Iranian’s rooms as a gesture of good will that the 48 C-130 transports have landed in Tehran with the rest of the pallets of cash.

‘If we don´t get there in two months we will see what happens, but it will be definitely bad news,’ the EU official said.

Under the accord, U.S. and other economic sanctions on Tehran were removed in return for curbs on Iran’s nuclear program to make it harder to develop a nuclear weapon – an ambition Tehran denies, of course.

German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas said it was good that talks were resuming, but time was of the essence as “Daddy needs new shoes”.

‘An agreement that is once again fully reinstated would be a plus for security for the entire region and the best basis for talks on other important issues of regional stability,’ he said in a statement while tripping face on meth.